In September 2013, lots of of single girls led by Suwaiba Isa stormed the streets of Gusau, the capital of Zamfara State, protesting shortage of husbands for greater than 8,000 of them. An identical protest earlier deliberate by Hajiya Altine Abdullahi for widows and single Kano girls in August 2009 was averted by Kano State Authorities which shortly organized mass wedding ceremony for 1,000 girls within the state.
It had seemed as if the pattern was restricted to the Northwest a part of the nation and the Muslim inhabitants till a pastor in one of many church buildings in Gombe State raised concern over their single women’ alternative of males from exterior the area, particularly the Southwest a part of the nation who got here to take their girls away.
Reviews say that 60 per cent of the non-indigene inhabitants in Gombe State is made of individuals from the Southwest a part of the nation, who the Oba of Yoruba in Gombe, Abdulrahim Alao Yusuf, stated have been residing within the space for greater than 150 years.
At 35, Godiya Adamu is but to discover a husband; a state of affairs she blamed on her incapability to discover a man who’s severe about marriage.
“What would I do? I can’t power myself on males if they don’t come,” she stated, revealing that she had been in about 5 relationships with out significant outcomes earlier than she ultimately gave up. “So far as I’m involved, life continues with or with no husband,” she stated.
On her half, Abigail, a mom of two, stated she intentionally selected to be a single mom in order that she may need peace of thoughts. “I reside in my very own home on this Gombe with my youngsters. I’m their mom and their father,” she stated.
Abigail stated she selected to be single as a result of she couldn’t play the second fiddle in a wedding.
She stated: “I’ve pals preferring that the person shouldn’t make their existence identified to the spouse at residence and they’re snug with it.
“What I need to say is that one ought to go for no matter will make one comfortable. There’s nothing new once more below the solar.
Esther, a 45-year-old single woman, stated the brand new pattern now’s for women to exit of their state and tradition to marry. “I used to be in a marriage the place a pastor right here within the North complained bitterly that Yoruba males are taking their women away. He stated after they marry them, they don’t keep in Gombe however take them to their a part of the nation.
“So I stated why will this not be so as a result of among the younger males that you just see on the market are into drug dependancy, and who desires to marry a drug addict?
“The reality is a lot of them should not severe. It isn’t solely males which might be searching for respectable and severe women, women too are additionally searching for respectable males to marry, and that to me is scarce proper now on this technology.”
For Amina, a Fulani lady, her drawback was that she had schooling. She stated she had found that many males within the North are reluctant to marry educated girls. “Most likely as a result of they felt it won’t be simple for them to have management over such a girl. So to me, the choice is after all to stay single and be each the mom and father to my youngsters.”
Rev. Adamu Dauda of ECWA Gospel Church Gombe stated when he seen that the state of affairs was changing into alarming, he referred to as for a gathering with all of the youths within the church.
He stated: “I lead a congregation of over 1,500 members out of which we have now over 800 youths. Throughout the assembly, we found that out of the 800 youths, 487 weren’t married, so I started to take the initiative to speak to them one on one.
“The stunning discovery is that among the women advised me that no person had proposed to them. Then I requested, did you not see anybody that you just appreciated? Some stated sure, however they may not go to the person as a result of it’s in opposition to African tradition. That’s the space we at the moment are wanting into.
“If a woman likes a person, why not go to the person herself? If that will provide you with higher outcomes, why not? As a result of I can let you know for positive that the church is already getting overwhelmed.”
Rev. Dauda additionally blamed the state of affairs on the lack of many younger males to make use of their palms to make ends meet as a result of they’re pondering of white collar jobs and different privileges that may come by means of the federal government.
He stated: “You’d consider me that the economic system of our nation is in major problem. Many individuals are struggling. Folks would let you know that they’ve spent two or three days with out cooking of their properties. In different phrases, they’re searching for what to eat.
“They might come to the church and plead, and since we’re one household, the church encourages giving and supporting each other.
“Immediately, most of our kids, particularly the boys, graduated and don’t have anything to do. Once you ask them, they’d say they’re searching for authorities jobs. Lots of them have failed to make use of their palms to make ends meet. They’re pondering of white collar jobs and different privileges that may come by means of authorities however these should not forthcoming.
“Since they haven’t any job, they haven’t any technique of caring for wives. Lots of them you’ll be able to see strolling on the streets with their information as a substitute of taking vocational jobs the place they will earn cash and make themselves employers of labour.”
He stated one more reason for the delay in marriage for a lot of women and men is modernization, which he stated has led to trial marriage, which he stated is immediately reverse to African tradition.
He stated: “In these days, since you couldn’t contact a girl earlier than you married her, it inspired a person to want to marry. However what is going on immediately will not be good for the ears in any respect.
“If they may attempt marriage earlier than they get married then what would immediate them to need to marry once more? As a result of what they’re searching for in marriage, they will get it exterior marriage.”
He additionally blamed among the girls for residing care-free life. “A number of the girls don’t have self management, and for those who don’t have self management, anyone will come and get what he desires to get from you and discover his manner out. Then one other individual will come and it goes on like that in a vicious circle. On the finish of the day you discover out that no person desires to marry you.
“Hardly will such a woman discover a man to marry her, as a result of even when a person will not be respectable and never trustworthy, he’s searching for a trustworthy lady to marry. As soon as a person hears a lot about you regarding indecency and different issues, they’ll go away and never need to stick with such a girl.
“One other issue is on the aspect of the dad and mom. Most dad and mom are not looking for their daughter to marry till she attains a sure stage of schooling. In these days, after secondary college, a woman can get married after which each husband and spouse can go and battle collectively and they are going to be no matter they need to be collectively. However immediately, the dad and mom will say she is not going to marry till she obtains first diploma.
“One other factor is that some dad and mom additionally do choose for his or her youngsters, saying they need to anticipate a properly established household with the hope that marriage with their daughter will get them out of poverty, and the girl will carry on ready. Dad and mom’ intervention in problems with marriage is inflicting a variety of issues.”
The Chief Imam of Authorities Home Mosque in Gombe, Sheik Dr. Zakariya Hajiya, blamed the shortage of husbands for girls within the state on poverty. Based on him, the massive bills of marriage for males with regard to the bride, her household, mosques and church buildings have grow to be an enormous burden on them. He stated the biting financial state of affairs occasioned by the COVID-19 pandemic and the safety challenges within the Northeast area have additional worsened the state of affairs.
He stated: “The bills on these issues like dowry, garments, necklaces, kitchen home equipment, mattress, tv, fridge and different family home equipment, which a would-be husband would offer for each the bride, her household and religion homes, are so enormous for him.
“One other drawback is the demise of many males on account of insurgency which have turned many ladies into widows and with youngsters to cater for. The state of affairs is additional compounded by the massive variety of widows of troopers and policemen who died within the combat in opposition to insurgency within the Northeast.
“These girls are additionally a part of the society. More often than not, males are victims of insurgency assaults, banditry, kidnapping and the remaining. In reality, lately, males have grow to be susceptible and endangered species in our society on account of these crises in numerous elements of the nation.
“So, shortage of husband, which results in delay in marriages for girls, will not be restricted to the Northeast; it’s all over. And additionally it is not restricted to girls in Islam; it additionally impacts Christians too.”
One other issue raised by Zakariya is the truth that most girls of these days don’t need to play the second fiddle or permit their husbands to marry one other lady after them.
“That is one other large drawback, particularly for polygamists. Some girls even killed their husbands for marrying or making an attempt to marry one other lady. Sure, it’s as dangerous as that, however it’s a deviation from the teachings of Islam.
“Islam permits a person to marry as many as 4 wives. However lately, when you marry a girl, they hardly agreed for an additional lady to be married after them. Besides you have got a really sturdy maintain on a girl, it could possibly be very irritating to place two or extra of them below the identical roof.
“Some, other than making an attempt to kill their husbands, even take him to courtroom for divorce. It’s as dangerous as that.”
He stated the society is going through an enormous drawback on this regard now as a result of the shortage of husband is forcing many ladies into fornication, adultery and even prostitution with a purpose to survive.
“A few of these girls are even those approaching males now as a result of they’re searching for technique of survival.”
He defined additional that the majority girls who forestall their husbands from marrying one other lady have forgotten that in addition they have feminine youngsters.
“A few of them even have as many as 4, 5 or extra daughters at residence. Should you marry one off and that one didn’t permit her husband to marry one other lady, who will marry her sisters?” he requested.
This, in accordance with him, is what many ladies who’re in opposition to polygamy don’t perceive.
He stated: “I’m a trainer, and I do know that women in colleges outnumber boys. It additionally signifies that the inhabitants of women is greater than boys.”
However the Statistician Common of the Gombe State Bureau of Statistics, Hammed Gidado, wouldn’t agree with Sheik Zakariya. Gidado stated there isn’t a empirical statistics on floor to assist the notion that there are extra girls than males and that’s the reason there may be shortage of husbands or delayed marriage for girls.
To him, out there statistics confirmed that male youngsters nonetheless outnumber fema le youngsters, in accordance with newest inhabitants statistics.
He stated: “There is no such thing as a empirical statistics on floor to assist the notion that there are extra single women than single males in Gombe State for now. Nevertheless this could possibly be true on assumption.
“There are 5 elements which could possibly be chargeable for this. First is the religious price of marriage. If you’re doing it in accordance with Islamic marriage, it is not going to undergo with out price. The identical additionally applies to church wedding ceremony. The pastor and the Mallam will get one thing.
“Secondly, the dad and mom will do Okay’aya hauri or lepe in Hausa, and this may contain shopping for garments, bins, jewelry, and so on. The minimal you need to spend on that is nothing lower than N200,000. These are on the aspect of the individual getting married.
“However the price is much more on the aspect of the dad and mom who’ve to purchase mattress, fridge, tv, carpet, furnishings, cooking utensils and different home instruments to make use of at residence. So the bills are much more on the aspect of the dad and mom.
“These are excessive prices which may run into not lower than N600,000 or greater than one million naira.
“One other is the price of reception for invited friends on the wedding ceremony. It’s important to present meals for individuals. If you’re fashionable, you’ll anticipate not lower than 100 friends. The price of what they’ll eat and drink is greater than the dowry.
“In Islamic legislation, dowry is now pegged at a minimal of N25,000. Should you put all these prices collectively, you’ll uncover that it is without doubt one of the issues deterring individuals from getting married.
“One other facet that’s neither cultural or non secular is the difficulty of courtship or trial marriage, the place a would-be husband and spouse will reside collectively and do all the pieces that’s anticipated in marriage. By the point they ultimately get married in a matter of three to 6 months, they go for divorce.
“One other factor is the difficulty of demise amongst males. When a husband dies, the spouse turns into a widow and the variety of single girls will increase. Nevertheless, these are assumptions; there aren’t any empirical statistics to again it up.”
Gidado nevertheless stated the upsurge in single girls happens extra within the city areas than rural areas and it’s not restricted to Gombe State. He added that in rural areas, a woman might marry as much as three or 4 occasions.
“However whether it is in city areas, like Ibadan or Lagos, or Kano, Kaduna, Port Harcourt and Abuja, who will marry her? In these city areas, a woman might reside as much as 50 years with out having a husband. At any time when it involves the difficulty of marriage, what shall be occurring within the thoughts of the person is the place would I get cash? Particularly now that everybody is searching for white kola job and authorities can not present job for everyone.
“Even whenever you get the job, the minimal wage is N30,000. Are you able to handle a house on N30,000 per thirty days? There are additionally up to date points which aren’t non secular, cultural or conventional.”
Gidado concluded that “this concern, sadly, seems to haven’t any answer. As a result of even when authorities intervened and carried out mass weddings, lots of the girls ended up marrying one other lady’s husband and the wedding could not final greater than six months.”
He stated the worrisome facet is the speed of divorce which is borne out of up to date points and is now a typical phenomenon all around the nation.
“Within the South-south and Southeast, women now keep away utterly from marriage for all times. Whether it is youngsters, they will get their very own youngsters and stay single dad and mom. This nevertheless will not be in accordance with our tradition and faith within the North.”